4 November,

Hi,

when do you think everything is going to your plan? just tell me what is the feeling of being taking life in your control. i beg for my construction of my words as they are coming randomly form my head. I am even not watch over the spelling nor I am raising my head to check my answers.
 you will think not again............... again she is weeping her insecurities over her words. there are no one to rescue me from my worries, my insecurities or my frustration, so i end up throwing my pains in words. I assume that at least my words will understand the true me. when i am writing ( most of the time nonsense) but it give me a sense of worthiness in me. I went back to my dull life with new energy.
each one of us want to make niche of herself in this world. some professionally and some personally. Well, my deepest desire is to write; just write like a queen.
but just like any wannabe writer my days are filled with thought for writing but I seldom write.
I don't want to get married because i thought marriage is the end of life but looking at everybody and listening to everybody, I decided to get married. Now i am married ready to complete my first anniversary but i don't know is this the life which i wanted? Am I happy because I don't feel so. everyday we have share of our fight which end up in violent steak.
My in laws assumed that a girl has to be a domestic goddess no matter what. you have to be born as domestic goddess otherwise your other thing  are of no use. and last but not the least, men in my in laws's house including my husband are not born to cooperate or share household work. this things has to done by females in family.
Apart from that, there are loads of superstitions and customs which are are part of sophisticated culture of my in laws's family. Now, a rational, an iconoclast, male bashing feminist and a rebellious girls like me, this things are outrageous.
now here i am stuck in bad marriage for life. I am dying. HELP!!!

(if somebody who bother to read my blog doesn't understand a bit, then your displeasure is regretted as I wrote what came to my mind and i am not very comfortable with keybord as my hand doesnot match my mind.)