Day ????

I started rewriting my blog to streamline my life. But your old habits refuse to die down. These old habits are the life of a spoiled child raised by lenient and indecisive parents. You know all the dos and don'ts. you know the things you have to work on but some kind of negative energy binds you to the floor and with their tight grip holds your limbs together. you feeling suffocated, gaged, and helpless.

Most days, if not all, I stare at the computer screen or the pages of my books and don't know what to do or where to start. Even if I start something, my mind goes bonkers and I soon lose interest. to soothe my bruised ego I try to say "Well that's a good start". My subconscious mind says "Start!! What did you start?" Throughout the day I feel wasted and go to sleep with the bitter truth. 

I hit the sack without getting tired and woke up dull and tired. This thing has become an infinity loop which I want to break out of but am unable to do so.

This year I have been jobless for the most part of my time. I have been the victim of office politics no doubt but my negative attitude played a big role. it is a wake-up call for me. I do not want to repeat this mistake. By the end of the year, I want to change myself to 360 degrees but still a long way to go.