Picture on the left is me.; sitting and staring at my dry patch of my life....... dry patch created by my own neglience. Somehow I failed to have control my own life. I was stoically numb to feel the importance of the moment or small incidence in your life; moment which makes and break your journey of your life.
I used to blamed everyone for the mess which was created none other than me. Then I used to blame myself. I felt sorry for myself then miserable, then dirty and sucidal at a times. And beleive me once this stinky feeling srink into your mind they suck little bit of positivity left in you. beware of that!!!
I came to my senses when it was to late : my ambition to study mass communication......... I know, its all my fault. I accept that. My neglience, my laid back attitude and no dicipline in my lifestyle and apporach has now taken a ugly shape. Today at the age of 25 in a new city I have no job, no friend, no hope; nothing. Only fear of everything; fear of failure, fear of rejection and I dont know fear of many other thing. I just dont know after failure to get admission in mass communication what shall i do know ?
I just dont want to live like that. Its so disgusting to think bad about youself 24/7. I want to fight, fight really very hard. I know I dont have anything special which I can be proud of. But I want to change and change for better me. How I will able to do it I really dont know. What is the point of living like a garbage dump.
So this is my journal to start my life from the scratch. I dont know how I will do it but I just know that I have to do something somehow. I want to change both from outside and inside............ So I am miss nobody who want to be miss somebody.
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